Sunday, April 23, 2006

Lamentations

This may end up being quite long. i just have so many things in my mind right now.

Perhaps i will start off with an erica update-- She's getting her cough back again. YES, i've talked about this so many times before... if you click this link, you can actually click more and more links tracing back all the times we've gone thru this. So, is it bronchitus again? i dont think so, but who knows?

Other times while having this cough, she wasnt grouchy at all. well-- not this time. EVERY morning when she wakes up, she screams and screams for probably an hour before i get her calmed down. I do not jest. Her molars are breaking thru, which i think is the culprit.

arggg... I think she's quitting her afternoon nap. Okay, so most kids are different. They stop taking a morning nap and then just take one in the afternoon. Well, lately i've been able to put her down for her morning nap with NO problem [partially b/c she wakes up at 7:00 and is tired by 9:00]. But in the afternoon she wont nap. I'll take her up and put her in her crib; she'll be silent for ten minutes; then she'll cry and cry till i come get her.

So, i have even less free time than normal. I'm gonna really "lament" here... So, i've talked before about feeling that some people look down at stay at home mommies. i dont want people to think that i'm too lazy OR too dumb to get a job. Well, especially now i'm afraid of being portrayed as lazy. Some may look at me and think: "she's home ALL day; there is NO reason why she shouldnt get stuff done." And honestly, when Andrew comes home many days and asks what i did that day, i cant really think of an answer. BUT, i'm not just sitting around on my bum. I dont know. i just feel so stressed. Things seem to be this huge whirlwind. And again on this, i some-what think people will just say: "how hard can she possibly have it? she's not working!"

but here's a tidbit of wisdom i once picked up from a friend: 'everybody's "hurts" hurt.' Does that make sense to you? let me explain: i was at college in South Carolina at the time; one of my friends was crying cuz she hadnt seen her family in two weeks. i kinda flipped out, cuz i hadnt seen my family in 3 months, and i didnt think she had the right to cry about it. And my other friend explained that even though i may think i have it worse, that doesnt mean that she's not hurting over her situation. So, there's my little explanation to those who may question me-- Even though i dont have it tough by having a job and tons of assignments and projects to do, i DO have my own things that hurt.

SOOOOO...

I was checking out some of my "mommy" websites and found a wonderful list of relaxation ideas. Though, it actually depressed me... HOW and WHEN do these women find time to do all of those things??? Ex: go to the spa, go to the bookstore, get coffee, get together with friends, go out to a gym, take a weekend away by yourself, etc etc etc.

SERIOUSLY, when does a mommy have time for these things? definitely not on a regular basis [though it would be ideal, i'm sure]. sometimes i go to the bookstore or go get coffee-- but always with erica with me, so that doesnt count. Even just getting together with other mommies and their kids doesnt really count, b/c you still have to keep an eye on your kid and keep them out of trouble.

SING THE HALLELUIA CHORUS!!!!!!! I'm going away this next weekend!!!! I jump with joy; i giggle with glee; i tremble with anticipation!!!! I'm going away friday thru sunday with three other ladies. YESSS!!!!!!!!!

so, this week, whenever i start with the lamentations, i'll just think: "friday is coming, friday is coming, friday is coming..."

7 comments:

Becky L said...

so, i've been reading everyone's blogs. i've caught up on a lot.

i have the baby monitor on... Erica keeps coughing; it sounds awful.

I didnt mention this: she wet her bed overnight; and it WREAKED, like something wasnt right. I wonder if everytime she coughs bad, she pees. Some old ladies do that, right? well, maybe tiny ladies do too????

[sorry, that was probably TMI about her diaper...]

Tickneen said...

Never too much tmi for the tick! Congrats on getting a weekend to yourself. You deserve it. You are proof positive that is way harder to be an at home mom than to drop your kid off at daycare and go play grownup!

Agnes Mitchell said...

Aww Becky. Mommydom is a hard thing. I can only say from watching my sister that you definitely need a relative to pawn kiddo off on at least once a month.
"Happiness is nothing more than having something to look forward to." Give yourself a date night and leave Abigail with someone you trust. You need some downtime.

Also, don't forget that YOU being healthy and rested is better for HER. You need to focus on your own peace of mind too.

That playgroup thing has done WONDERS for my sister. It gets her out of the house. Connects her with people of like-minded child rearing. Allows her to discuss the things that make her crazy with people who are being made crazy too.
And it's so good for the kiddos.
Drop me a line if you're interested in it. I'll talk up the sister and ask her how she got connected.

Cut yourself some slack hon. :)

Valerie said...

I totally understand the "everybody's hurt, hurts" Thats how I feel sometimes with school work and my family and financial stuff. It seems trivial next to the other ladies problems. Well let me tell you, it takes a special kind of person to be able to stay at home and raise a child and put up with a nagging hubby and keep the house clean. Not all women can do that. I think "stay-at-home" moms are heros. There is no person better to raise your child then you.

I hope your week goes every well. I can't wait till this weekend ether. It's going to be so much fun.

See you wednesday :)

Becky L said...

lol-- actually agnes, abigail is my sister; erica is the baby
[though sometimes abby may act like a baby-- just joking sis!]

Abigail S. said...

Funny, funny Becky!

By the by... are you going to the BFC missions rally on May 11th? I'm toying with the idea of skipping school and going. I'd get to see nathaniel (our brother's son, to those who might be curious!)

If you're going to go, I'll definitly go (as long as there's nothing important scheduled for that day at school!) Lemme know!

Clairissa said...

That's cool that you're able to get away. As dumb as it sounds, I don't think I'd like a whole weekend away from my little man, but I get several opportunities throughout the week to have some time to myself.

The main thing I really enjoy doing for myself is going to the gym. Reagan loves childcare there, and I have a wonderful time interracting with adults several times a week, getting healthier, etc.

Also, I just have so much more energy and a better outlook on life after working my body. I HIGHLY encourage you to consider joining a gym - it is a MUST for stay-at-home moms, as far as I'm concerned. I would recommend you join a gym that someone you know already goes to so you know someone right off the top; also, you'll probably be more apt to stick to it.

Hope you have a great weekend!! Looking forward to hearing about it.