Saturday, July 29, 2006

am i a bad person?

i'm wracked with guilt...

i was driving yesterday, running some errands. It was getting late in the afternoon; erica was grouchy and ready for her nap. So, we're driving, driving, la de la.


as i was driving, i was scoping out the scenery. There was a disabled [or something] man moving along the sidewalk in his motorized-wheelchair. he hit a bump and tipped right over!!!

i really did gasp. loudly. So loud it scared erica. And i slammed on my brakes. I NEED TO HELP THAT MAN!!!

he was on the other side of the road; i'd have to pull over or turn around or something. All of this was happening so fast. I saw that a guy in a car on that side of the street did stop [though almost seemed like he wasnt] and was getting out. He was in his 30's, looked to be in good health, and would be very able to help the guy up and to where he needs to go.

i kept searching and searching for somewhere to pull over or to turn around. i didnt really see any opportune place. My mind was spinning. i wanted to stop, but i didnt know if i could get there to help, and i thought that the other guy would be able to help....

well, i didnt stop. I went home. And i've been full of guilt ever since.

please, dont hate me. :-( Believe me, if no one else was around, i WOULD have stopped, even if erica was screaming to get home. But he was in good hands. Someone was there for him.

But two things keep haunting me:
1)The memory of my dad helping a little old lady who fell while walking. We were driving to a party, and we were so late b/c my dad stopped and walked the lady all the way home then. I was so mad at the time. But now, as i'm older, it has instilled in me the lesson that you should always help someone in need.
2)I keep seeing in my mind the picture of him just laying there, not able to move, yelling out for help.

Am i a bad person?


Valerie said...

I wouldn't say that you're a bad person, It was a hard call to make. I think that since the other guy stopped you were ok to leave.
I only ever stopped to help someone once even though everytime i see someone in need i feel like i should stop and help them. I had just worked a long day and then went to Curves. I was on my way home when I saw a car on the side of the road with about 4 high school age girls on the side with one of them on the ground. I passed them and felt so bad I turned around and asked them if they needed help. the girls had just came from field hocky practice and the one on the group was having an athsma attack! I used to have athsma but there was nothing i could do to help the she didn't already do. they said her Dad was on his way and they would be fine. I left them and said a little prayer. I knew that they were in Gods hands and they would be ok. I did feel bad about leaving them alone though.

Raj said...

Don't feel bad. Its okay. As u said, he was in good hands. So just forget abt it.

Becky L said...

val-- see ya tonight!

raj-- thanx. i 'll try to forget about it!

Agnes Mitchell said...

Hey there sweets. :)
Nope. You're not a bad person. The very fact that you had the urge and the intent to help is a clear indication of that.
You are a good person but it simply wasn't your fate to help that man on that day. It was someone else's day to do the good deed.

I'm certain someone helped that man up and he's back where he needs to be. Don't you fret it at all.

PS - I get that way when I see a turtle in the road. OMG...I have to get out and move the turtle out of the road!!! If I'll feel awful about that little turtle's life all day long.

Clairissa said...

I don't think you need to ask US if you're a bad person. And who cares what we think anyway? ha ha

I think you know you're not a bad person, and the guy was getting help, like you said. You got a little one to worry about anyway. It's all good, so chill... you're A-OK! :)