Sunday, October 02, 2005

Every Good Intention

i've been thinking a lot lately about intentions and motivations. we have them behind every single thing that we do and say. think about it...

its made me realize the problems with things that i do and how those things come across to others. ... my biggest problem is my MOUTH. i talk a lot. i used to say: "i open my mouth and words come out." my meaning was that i was quick to give an answer, without even thinking about what i was saying. so, i often say things that are wrong and can be hurtful.

basicly, i'm a really defensive person. when i feel even slightly attacked (whether i really am, or if its just me taking it as so), i start TALKING AND TALKING. i say all kinds of things to point all blame away from myself.

so anyway. i've been thinking about the intentions behind my words. and most times, my intentions are defensive. the problem is, often i'm not really being attacked and so i get defensive for no reason.

i've been trying to put these ideas into practice. its hard. i am, basicly, trying to think before i talk. its been good, so far. (though, i have slipped up a few times.) i've been able to speak much calmer, not point blame anywhere else, not raise my voice, not quickly spit out a retort.

its gonna take a lot of time though. i mean, come on-- its hard to think before you talk!

6 comments:

Clairissa said...

Way to go, Becky! I am very proud of you!!

It's definitely a sign of maturity when one analyzes his/her actions and tries to make a change for the better. Let's face it, LOTS of people NEVER even think to do that. So I am really impressed with you!

Keep up the good work... you're pleasing God and doing a wonderful thing for yourself, your family, and everyone else around you. :)

Michaela said...

I too have a Tendancy to speake before I think.. I find myself in a LOT of trouble that way.. its not always that I am being Defencive.. but I just say WHATEVER pops in my head... its bad...

Crazy Me said...

Good luck to you!

Lindsey said...

You can do it!!! I'm proud of you...I know how hard this is.

Andy M said...

Becky, please send me your email address (and Andrew's) to newkewler-blog@yahoo.com. I lost it or something.

JordanS said...

I think that it is WONDERFUL that you're looking at your Motivations and intentions. There are defently both behind every single action and thought we have.
I've been questioning this, as well as some other things, in my live a TON lately. I think you're spot on with your own personal analysis, and it's so awesome that you can objectively do that and modify it!!! Keep up the excellent work, and I know that it's a long process... but if you really truely want to change, you will.


Morb