Friday, August 31, 2007

A horrible mommy

[I wrote my previous post not 3 hours ago, and now I'm writing again. I'm just going to spend this time lamenting... so if you don't want to hear it, just skip to the next one.]

I can't fall asleep. Yes, partially b/c I had a latte tonight. But I keep thinking: "I'm a horrible mommy!"
Really, I am. So horrible.
For Erica's second birthday, Andrew picked out a special cake just for her; it was Strawberry Shortcake themed and came with 3 character dolls and a big strawberry home to put them in. Erica loved it. She had a strawberry shortcake purse that she would take everywhere, and she'd carry those little dolls in it everywhere we went.
For Christmas, she had gotten other purses. So she started using them at times instead. One day when we were about to go out, I said to her: "Let's use your strawberry shortcake purse. It's been awhile since you used it." And I couldnt find it anywhere. The purse and the dolls went missing. They were probably missing for a month before I even realized it.
I'm such a bad, horrible mommy. That special gift got lost and I never knew it. My husband specially picked out her birthday cake, and I lost the remaining remnants of that. I feel like I've let him and her both down.
The sad thing is, this happened several months ago. I should be over it by now. Erica doesnt remember it; Andrew never brings it up. The only person who cares is me. And I don't even know why I thought of it while laying in bed. But it came to mind, and I started to think how horrible a mommy I am.

Well, I took some Tylenol PM. Hopefully it'll knock me out before I make myself too depressed.

10 comments:

Momish said...

Oh no, you can't let that get to you. Things are things! I know how you feel. Suddenly, things matter to you because they matter to your child.

But in the end, they are things! Products, nothing more. You cannot compare yourself to how you handle things!

I hope you find it for your sake and all, but really... it is a just one of the many. Don't panic!

IsabellaWilliams said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Ugh, the things we obsess over when it's late and we can't sleep...

crazy working mom said...

Oh you poor dear! The fact that it doesn't bother them, but it does bother you just goes to prove that you're a GREAT Mommy AND wife because you care so much. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's over and you have the wonderful pictures to remind you.

'liya said...

I agree with what Crazy Working Mom says! :)

AndrewJohnson said...
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Becky L said...

whats with the crappy spam I'm getting as comments again?!?!?!

I really hate word verification, but I"m gonna have to add it again

Becky, Mom, Mommy, Hey you, said...

Don't let it get to you...Things get lost all the time..

Hugs...

Smalltown RN said...

oh I know how you feel....but you are not a terrible mom...you get that thought right out of your head....there are other things that were more important....like being there for your daughter everyday....bathing her....providing for her....cuddling her.....no my friend you are not a bad mom.....just wait there is more to come....

Abigail S said...

What a terrible mommy!

Too bad about the spam commentors. Word veri. stinks, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.