Wednesday, November 29, 2006

boys and girls

Okay, so this may stir up contraversy. Oh well.

So, i've been thinking about the whole boy vs girl thing. You know, nature vs nurture. Does a girl play with dolls and not tools/hammers because she's a girl. Does a boy play with tools and not dolls because he's a boy. Or is because parents tend to give girls "girly" toys and boys "manly" toys?

I recently read an article [either in "Child" or "Parents"-- dont remember which], that said a lot of it does come down to their nature as female/male.

Erica is such a girly-girl. Is it her nature, or is it just b/c i'm really girly and she's mimicking me? Erica loves chapstick. She loves hand lotion and body splash. She pretends to put makeup on when i do. She pretends to put hairspray in her hair. She likes playing with dolls [and other various stuffed animals]. She pretends to feed them, bush their teeth, comb their hair. She carries around a pink purse. [And Lord forbid anyone tries to take it from her!!!] She does like cars too though. Is that proof that its not in a child's nature to play only with "gender-specific" things?

Not that any of these underlying issues is important. Its just cute that she's very similar to me, and enjoys doing what i do. Its why i was SO HAPPY to have a girl.


Clairissa said...

Obviously everything varies from child to child, and I think that a child's environment has more to do with things than we imagine. But really, I think it all comes down to nature. They're each wired a certain way, and inevitably that will win out. I mean, Reagan likes dolls and stuffed animals and he tries to feed them and care for them same as Erica. Trust me, we NEVER nurtured that. He just does... he is a very loving and sensitive child, while not being a whiney, wimpy little boy. Nothing wrong with that. But he also knows ALL that boy stuff too and is very "manly" already. I truly enjoy his nature and I wouldn't want to nurture him to the point that it would rob who he truly was meant to be. It's important to nurture the normal, expected things about a child without pushing things on them and allowing them to have room to be who they want to be. You're doing a fine job with Erica, and I don't think you're a super girly girl. Erica is just a girl, so she's wired to like make-up and things, plus she sees you do it. Makes sense! But you're doing a wonderful job, so keep it up!

'liya said...

I agree with Clairissa's answer. I think whether you nurture it or not, girls will slowly move towards "girl things" and boys to their own.

I had tons of dolls and all those girly things, but I also had cars and sports stuff (that my dad tried to push on me all the time), the girly things won in the end.

Valerie said...

Aww, She is so cute.
When I was little my mom told me I would play with dolls and trucks and climb trees and host tea parties. I think it all has to do with what the parents teach the child. We learned about this in my psych class too, that it has to do a lot with what the child sees as well. They know whether they are male or female so they mimic the parent of the same gender.
I guess I did leaern something in school (even though its more or less common sense, lol).
I hope everything is great in the Becky world. I'll see you on sunday.


Becky L said...

clairissa-- awe, thanks for telling me i'm doing a good job!

'liya-- yeah, i think i played w/ cars too at times, especially when my brother did. But my sister and i were definitely into barbie.

val-- i never climbed trees. but thats b/c we didnt have a tree big enough to climb.

janelle said...

GI Joes are the way to go...dolls and action figures all in one...that way both sides are pleased! hahahaha

Becky L said...

thanks janelle; andrew will appreciate that tidbit! he'll run out and buy her army men.

Agnes Mitchell said...

I wonder the same thing. We're constantly saying Riley is "all boy". He's all about cars and action cartoons. All boy.
I had a cousin who very much liked what your daughter likes. Makeup, hairspray, pretty, soft, dainty. Only he was a boy. He was that way at 2yrs old. He is now an adult and very much gay. (He's a sweet boy though...and a snappy dresser!)

I do not know if it is nature or bonding or what that makes them "girly" or "all boy". This will remain a mystery to me. :)