My baby is not the baby she used to be

Erica is changing. She's babbling, she's crawling, she's sitting up by herself, she can pull herself up, she can hold unto surfaces and shuffle alongside them.

These things are not what I am refering to, however.

I'm not sure whats going on. I wish i did. but she's being odd lately. I kinda introduced the idea in "an awful day." She's not falling asleep. she's having trouble sleeping thru the night again. she's waking up too early. she's being grumpy.

Tonight, for example, she would not fall asleep. She used to go to bed around 8. She did not fall asleep until after 11 tonight. I tried and tried and tried. Nothing was working.

[Sniff, snuffle, tear, tear, tear.]

There's nothing worse (at least, not that i've experienced in my life so far) than not knowing how to help a crying baby.

She was tired. I was sure of it. But she just wouldnt settle down. everytime i set her down in her crib, she sat right up and started screaming. Not crying... screaming. I tried holding her and rocking her to sleep. (thats what i did the night before to get her to sleep) but even that did not work. I was thinking that maybe andrew-- and i-- have spoiled her by letting her fall asleep in bed w/ us if she couldnt settle down. I hence have refused to try it... but gave in tonight b/c it was getting so bad. But even that did not settle her.

Eventually, I gave her a bottle. Only four ounces. She wasnt hungry, i know... but it would be enough to at least calm her. I know i shouldnt have... but i was at my wits end. i put her down then, but still she screamed. so i picked her up and rocked her. she eventually nodded off and I successfully placed her in her crib.

deep sigh... ... ...

I dont know whats wrong with her lately. Is she just a brat who doesnt want to sleep? Is she spoiled by wanting to sleep with us? Is she getting scared and lonely? Is she too active to settle down? Is she getting sick?

I wish i knew.

I reckon she's getting a bit sick though. She's sneezing a lot. Coughing. Has a bit of a stuffy nose. And-- she's been spitting up, and it has phlegm in it. yucko. Its not normal spit-up. Its mucussy. Sorry to gross you out.

I need my pillow. Goodnight.