Pennsylvania Dutch, thru and thru

You know your PA Dutch when:
Your idea of Chicken Pot Pie has nothing to do with a pie and you can't figure out why people might think it would.
Your driving lessons involved learning to avoid horse droppings.
You know at least 5 euphemisms for animal manure and at least 4 of them involve food.
You know how to cook, but not without butter.
You know what a Fire Hall Wedding is
You spend at least 30 minutes every summer day complaining about New Jersey drivers.
You don't understand why people would ever want to see the Amish.
You have ever ended a sentence with "a while".
You do not giggle when you see the following signs:-- Lititz-- Intercourse-- Blue Ball-- Bird-in-Hand-- Mount Joy
You've heard of 7-11 but you've never seen one.
You pronounce Lancaster in "Burt Lancaster" differently from Lancaster in "Lancaster, PA".
Your iced tea is sweeter than Pepsi.
You know that eggs come in either white or brown - and you have a preference
You don't have to be told what Shoo Fly Pie is.
You outen the lights at the end of the day.
You go to the store when the milk is "all".
"Come with?" is a complete sentence.
At times, you utter things like, "Throw over the fence some hay."
The verb "to be" is useless: "Does Fido need out?"
You know what a Turkey Hill is , and you've ditched school to hang out there.
Your wan has vindshield vipers (and so does your station vagon).
Dutch Wonderland is neither Dutch nor much of a Wonderland.
You go out of state just to drive on smooth roads.
You've ordered "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
The Green Dragon ain't no Chinese restaurant.
Bacon drippings are an ingredient for making salad dressing.
You think tourist attractions consist of a pretzel factory, a chocolate factory and an Amish family out for a drive.
You do things "once," as in, "I'll go check in the back room once."
You can stop along the road to buy fruit, vegetables or crafts on the "honor system."
You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today" and "They're calling for snow."
You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.
You never see any Confederate flags except on the Gettysburg battlefield.
You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.
You call sloppy joes "barbecue."
When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.
Words like: gumband, buggie, hoagie, chipped beef, scrapple, actually mean something to you