Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I NEED ADVICE!!!

So, I'm at Starbucks right now. I had a HUGE falling out at home and needed to get away. [Granted, my trip to starbucks was preplanned since last week.] The falling out was not with my hubby however. In fact, he was fantastic. I love it when he's there for me, to be my strength.
My falling out was with my daughter. We were both bawling our eyes out. I think I've even burst some blood vessels on my eyelids.

Let me explain. Hmm... where to start...

Well, my previous post I told that Erica got a haircut because she was goofing off at dance class. Well, that wasn't just a one-time thing. She's been like that for weeks. Its so embarrassing to have the "bad kid in class."

So I went early tonight in order to talk with the teacher. I told her my concerns and wondered if Erica was really doing as badly as I perceived it to be. Well, the teacher was really nice and reassuring. One thing she said was that last years group had been even worse. And she also reaffirmed my thought that Erica NEEDS to go to preschool next year to get that structured envirement where she needs to learn to follow instructions.

I was feeling better then. And was really optimistic for the night... During the day, Erica and I practiced each of the 3 dances several times. She had fun and did everything SO WELL. Really, she was doing everying almost perfectly. She was excited to go to class tonight.

It started well... she did all of the stretches with the class and was a real darling. THEN the trouble came. The first dance they worked on is called "nearly missed the rainbow." Her favorite thing, between all of their three dances, is a part in this song where they get to walk. Yes, walk. But they do it as a cute funky walk. Well, the teacher told them that for the recital, they can't do that. So from now on they're gonna do the dance by marching in place at that spot.

SHE GOT SO GRUMPY! She's a little drama queen to begin with. There was a lot of pouting, arms crossing, stomping, hands on hips, growls, etc.

And I could have overlooked that... or at least forgiven it.

BUT... this child must have some sort of "oral fixation." Now that the hair can't get in her mouth, she's decided to put her hands in her mouth. And not just that... THEN SHE STARTED SPITTING IN HER HANDS AND RUBBING IT ALL OVER HER FACE! I'm not joking. And of course then all the parents were ticked at her-- and me-- because when they hold hands in a circle, Erica gets her germs all over the other little girls!

I called her over to me, put antibacterial stuff on her hands, but she just kept doing it. I kept warning then that if she didn't stop, she wouldn't get to watch her movie tonight. But the spitting continued. And she didn't participate in any of the dances. She just kept goofing off, even when they moved to a different song.

So when we left, I told her no movie tonight. She started crying and crying. And then I started crying and crying. When I got home, I cried to Andrew and he listened to me and understood... or at least acted like he did [which was fine with me]. Then he listened to Erica. And he did calm her down some.

With the story now told, I'll get to the advice part. Really, I just don't know what to do. It's so embarrassing to me. I get so frustrated. I'm afraid that I'm gonna take the fun out of it for Erica, but on the other hand she does need to learn b/c of the recital coming up. Is this really no big deal and I'm overreacting? Ugh!!!!

So, what to do:
a) Stop taking her to class but make Andrew take her
b) Pull her out of classes all together
c) Just let it go and don't make a big deal
d) Take her but dont sit in on class; wait in the waiting room


[PS: It's Wednesday morning now. I'm calmed down. I think I know what I'll do... but I'll still take opinions!!!]

1 comment:

Debbie said...

What would I do if my Mikalyn or Cheyeanne would have done this? Perhaps D, but with a twist. I wouldn't stop taking her or make Andrew take her; you want to make sure she doesn't feel shamed or that your love for her is conditional.

But I think you need to see what is the root of her behavior. If it is you in the room (and it's very, very common for kids to act up with parents around), then you may want to wait for her. However, keep doing what your doing - her behavior is unacceptable and will have consequences. However, waaaay play up a good reward for next week if she follows the rules - getting to watch her movie, out for breakfast with Daddy, or an ice cream cone afterwards, etc. As you know, if it's always negitive and you're apprehensive about her class, she'll pick up on it and follow through on it. If your confident and happy with what a great job she's going to do next week, the chances you'll have a good week will be high.

Anyway, that's my two cents. Hope it helps!