Thursday, January 10, 2008

Lies

I wanted to blog about this for awhile now, but never got around to it. So I will now.

I had read in a Parent's Magazine an article about toddler's lies. The writer said that you shouldnt be upset when toddlers lie. Its okay for them to.

Now, I'm okay with that in the scenario that they make up fascinating stories. Erica saying there are monsters in the room [which thrills her, not scares her] is okay, b/c she's using her imagination. Or when Andrew comes home and asks what she did that day, she may say she didn't do something that we did OR that we did do something we didn't. Her memory still isnt the best, so she might not actually remember what we did in the morning before her nap.

THIS SAID, the author of the article took it a step farther. She said that its okay for toddlers to lie about doing something bad OR not doing something they're supposed to. So, a few months ago when Erica lied to me and said that Daddy told her she could have something, I should have been okay with that. She doesn't know what she's doing, she doesn't realize its a lie and therefore is wrong.

To that, I say "WHAT?!?!?!" No way. My daughter knew she was lying. She asked Daddy for a snack. He said no. She came upstairs to me, tried to look cute, and said "can I have a snack?" I knew Andrew said no, and asked her what Daddy had said. She replied "Daddy said yes."

She knew she was lying. Maybe not that it was called a lie, but that what she was saying was not true. She lies other times on purpose, knowing full well of what she's doing.

Luckily, my daughter doesn't lie much. Most of her lies are about her diaper being dirty. Which is annoying, but not too major. I don't get too upset by it. But I do make sure to tell her "That was a lie. You shouldnt lie to Mommy or Daddy."

What are your thoughts on the whole issue?

4 comments:

Debbie said...

My two cents is that they need to learn young that lying is not acceptable (imaginative play stories are different, and I'm not regarding them). Take Mikalyn (just turned 3) for instance - she hates peas and does not like to eat them. But she did get in trouble when I last served. She'd asked me to be excused (I was in the other room), and I asked if she'd finished her peas. She said yes, she had. When I came to look, however, a full serving of peas were on her plate. To me, she knew what she said and was trying to avoid her peas. She goes round and round all day like this. I don't know if it's because of her background or just her sin nature or both...

Anyway, that is my two cents! Oh, and I wrote a post in respond to your question from your last comment...

your sis said...

I agree... Don't let her get away w/ it. Though as not her mom, I think it's so cute- her trying to lie. But yeah, don't let her do it. Call her bluff.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I don't know what I think. It's been on my mind lately since Alexis has started to lie about needing to go potty (she "needs" to go every 10 seconds but never actually goes when I take her in the bathroom) and whether or not her diaper is dirty. I guess I don't think she knows she's not telling the truth, but I haven't decided whether to tell her I know or not.

Good luck with that and let me know how it goes so I can steal, er, I mean LEARN from you.

crazy working mom said...

Most definitely NOT acceptable if they are lying about serious things. Just playing is one thing, but I think they have to learn what is right and wrong. Lying is wrong and it's our jobs to teach them this. Heaven knows we don't want 'em to learn it in books and magazines, right?! *LOL*